Freak out and want these shoes must have stop it don’t be crazy, wait I wonder who has these shoes? Go stalk on Instagram and wonder why they spent $1,075 on shoes, continue hate-viewing their pictures.

A lot of writing about money is being curious about money, business, wealth, what money can buy, what money cannot buy. What the characteristics of a man who makes a lot of money are, what the character of a man who makes a lot of money is. These topics have made some of the greatest novels of the 20th century. F. Scott Fitzgerald is one of my favorite authors, and he captured the ease and neuroses of being fabulously wealthy, the peculiar aspects of being born into wealth which then makes one entitled but is at the same time completely innocent of the “dirtiness” of working for one’s money. I like writing about money because money is taboo. The size of your friend’s bank account might make you uncomfortable and you would never ask someone what their salary is out of the blue (plenty of other cultures do, but Americans and many Western cultures generally don’t). Socioeconomic status is also taboo. Sometimes, certain NPR segments that cover topics on poverty just rub me the wrong way because even though it is supposed to be sympathetic, they strike me as completely insincere and are looking at poverty from the outside, as the “Other”. Ugh. Those segments are meant to be helpful, but this article does a good job explaining why we sometimes are looking at the whole thing ass-backwards.

A healthy dose of money curiosity goes a long way. It will make you want to focus on an aspect of your life that will, without a doubt, bring you the most ability to make good decisions and have the freedom of choice. You will understand that many people are motivated and fueled by money, but that it has been masked under a few different layers and it is not always obvious, not even to them. But when you understand money, are curious about it and get it good at making more of it, it really is true that money matters less, because you have already mastered it. Money curiosity means you are interested in the difficult questions money brings up and can accept the challenge of figuring them out. Or it could mean you like analyzing your spending, investments, and even your career, and can then make better choices because you considered the money, and didn’t nonchalantly act like it didn’t matter. You can understand business, government, society, even relationships and power dynamics when you are curious about money. It’s seriously fascinating stuff.

I like money curiosity. But I am also a money voyeur. This might not be as healthy. I want to know how much stuff costs, even when I have no intention of buying it (Valentino Rockstud heels: $1,075). I want to know how much you paid for your house and what the mortgage payment is on that, and if that’s affordable for you. It’s good to have a general idea of your peers’ salaries so that you are not getting shortchanged for similar work, but I also want to know all kinds of detail: how often do you get a raise? What kind of bump do you expect when you get promoted? Switch jobs? If you post your income or net worth online, I’ve probably read it. I used to read articles like this and think, Well at least I’m not the only one. And now I read them with a little self-congratulating and say, Hey, you’re actually a little better than average! I know I’m being a voyeur. It’s easy to do. I just try to balance it with a little more money curiosity and not get too wrapped up in the comparison and competition game, as TeacHer Finance so eloquently put it.

Are you money curious, a money voyeur or both?