April 2012 Debt Update: Too $hort
What will I write about when I don't have any debt??
Another slip-up month. I was going to cheat and not post until next month, but I realized I have to be honest with myself (since the updates are mid-month now, I skipped March and went right to April). I have to post regularly scheduled updates. Between the big East Coast trip and taking care of a few annual expenses, I fell behind by quite a bit this month. My goals for the month were under $32,000 in debt and $500 in savings. Well, I missed the debt mark and have just over $400 in savings. The cool thing has been transferring little amounts of money to my savings. I don’t feel like I’m missing anything and I don’t want to make any withdrawals from savings again, which I haven’t done since January.
I have been working a lot, which is why I haven’t been writing as much, but I’m happy to be working. However, it’s still painfully obvious to me that I do not have enough income. I am not ungrateful for what I have, but I see a dizzying stretch of sameness if I do not push myself to the next income level. I’ve cut expenses as far as I can: I track my spending, I don’t drink or smoke and I spend most of my extra time feverishly working on something that could be big. But right now I’m just tired. I’ve been at this for a year and I still feel like I can’t get ahead. The worst part is that while my overall debt level has gone down, my credit card balances have stayed high, and the high balance card just stays in the same thousand-dollar range.
I could have said no to my friend and not been a bridesmaid in her wedding. That would have saved me around $1,000. But then I would have spent the rest of my life seeing my friends’ pictures and remembering that I wasn’t a part of that wedding. Just another snapshot in the alumni magazine of someone else’s joy. But I shared in that joy and this is one couple who I am not worried about making it. Their relationship and friendship has been a source of strength for our little circle and I love them and I wouldn’t have missed that wedding unless I’d gotten shot, and even then, I would have tried to make it if the bullet hadn’t hit any vital organs. I only have a handful of friends that would ask me to be bridesmaids in their weddings, and this was the first of those. And let’s be honest, the other three have all told me they’re either not having a wedding or are going to ask me to be present with them when they go to a Justice of the Peace (and maybe a Denny’s afterwards). So was this a once-in-a-lifetime event? Probably!
So right now, right in this moment, I’m a little tired of all the hustling and tracking and planning and managing. But if I let myself relax and just do them anyways, they don’t seem so stressful. So my goal for May is to get under $32,200 in debt and work on increasing my income. I’ll report next month on specific things I did to increase my income and how it turned out. I’m not going to set any savings goal for the month because I am comfortable with my savings rate. With my income just barely meeting my expenses, I have been committed to saving whatever I can and will continue with that until I break this threshold. That’s what I have been seeing this as: I’m hovering at a certain income level and I need to break this threshold to get to the next level where I envision that small cushion between income and expenses as the most comfortable, microsuede-upholstered chaise lounge ever. I’ve been here for nearly six months (at this income level) and I’ve been telling myself to keep going and not get discouraged. I have to believe that and believe in myself. I have the skills, the enthusiasm and the ability to make more money. It’s going to happen. But if I get down on myself, I won’t be able to figure out how. A wise rapper named Too $hort once said:
I know you tired of being broke just hanging out
You gotta lot a dreams but you can’t get out
The first thing you need to do is set yourself some goals
Think positive, everything else is old
and work hard, never stop hustlin’
I will be gettin’ it! On with the bad news:
Smallest Debt (February/March 2012): $4,169
Smallest Debt (April 2012): $4,343
Next month will be better.
Total Debt Update:
April 2012: $32,872
% Change from February/March: 1.0% Increase (Bad Girl!)
I’m not beyond reproach, but I don’t pretend to be that way.
hahah that’s awesome that you quoted Too $hort. It’s actually surprisingly good advice.
Hang in there. Your income will increase in time. Staying at the same income for 6 months is very normal. I’ve been at jobs with no raise for nearly 2 years.
As for the side hustle, if you’re tired, take a break and refresh. If you wear yourself out, it will be tougher to keep going. Sometimes you need a break from it all to just relax for a bit.
Good luck! As someone who is getting married, I’m really glad you said yes to your friend. I’m sure she is thrilled that you’ll be a part of her day.
No worries, you’ll find something to blog about once you’re out of debt
This is just a hiccup. I’m looking forward to when you post your next update and tell us you nailed it! I’m also happy you accepted the role of bridesmaid at your friend’s wedding
May I just say how much I loved how you integrated that rap song into this post? AMAZING! I was exactly where you were a year ago. I was never really making enough to save, just enough to live, but I think if you work hard (which you obviously do), things will start to fall into place. Just don’t give up!
@ModestMoney: There are a few Too $hort songs that are really good, and I love a good rap lyric. I know 6 months isn’t long, it’s just felt long because I am so pumped for the next level, and I want to use my income for savings and paying off debt not buying stuff!
@Well-Heeled: Yes, I wouldn’t have missed it, honestly! It was last week and we had the best time.
@Cassie: Thanks for that! I’m ready to make progress next month.
@Mo Money: You’re keeping me motivated! It’s easy to give up, but I’m really focused on not falling into that again.
Hey honesty is cool. We all forgive you and kudos for doing that. I think you had to be the bridesmaid but $1000 is steep. I am rooting for you in May.
One day at a time! My wife and I have been working our way out of debt for 5 years (maybe 6…I’ve lost track)! Some months things get tough and just don’t go your way, but others go better than you expect.
If it was easy to get out of debt and build wealth then everybody would do it. Just keep working hard and you’ll start to make some headway!
Do you have time to get an extra job on the weekends or something?
Hey, we all have months where we make decisions that aren’t the best. I made a terrible decision in March that set me back a bit.
It’s hard to work toward a goal and not mess up from time to time. Even experienced climbers slide back every once in a while.
I love the card at the beginning of the post!
Some progress is better than no progress! We all have our bad and good months. Mine was in March when I felt like I was taking 1 step forward and 2 steps back. But thankfully April has been an awesome month! So maybe after you have a bad month, you’ll have a better one next month. Good luck and can’t wait to see how it turns out
Don’t be too hard on yourself, we all need a bit of a break now and then, and in the grand scheme of things if you moved a couple of hundred bucks back this month, don’t worry about it. You’ll get them next time. Life happens, and there are actually some reasons for living other than paying off debt. If not, you may as well fake your own death for the insurance money and move to Mexico…
Being a bridesmaid for your best friend is something you don’t often get to do. I’m happy you didn’t say “no” to that request, and you’re doing a good job! Don’t beat yourself up.
At the beggining of debt reduction you will rather work in developing the habit of saving, than in saving lot of money.Habits will give you the best results long term.
Just hang on ….and be patient.
As long as your head is pointing in the right direction you have the right attitude going. Keep your head up and get at it!
Alright, sweetie (and yes, I’m calling you sweetie- you remind me too much of my young cousins), you need to sit down, take a few deep breaths, and relax.
We do ourselves a disservice when we pretend that all emotional spending is bad. It’s not. If you do not take care of yourself emotionally, you will never be able to take care of yourself financially. You made the right decision for you to be in that wedding. There should be no regrets, no if onlys. Sometimes living today has to take precedence over living tomorrow.
In addition, living close to the edge is exhausting. If you do not allow yourself time to relax, you will just push yourself over the cliff in a big way.
Give yourself a break. Take some time to relax and not push yourself too hard. Then, once you are recouped you can come back more determined and stronger than before.
@shanendoah: aw shucks, you always leave the most inspiring comments! but I think we’re the same age btw
. You’re 100% right, and I’m not trying to lose sight of living. I’ve always put a premium on quality of life, I just want to stay the course too.
I completely empathize with your bridesmaid decision; my girlfriend from college is getting married this fall several states away, and I was actually hoping she wouldn’t ask me to be in her wedding (she was in mine seven years ago). But I felt our friendship was more important than the $1,000 I’ll spend on the occasion.
@Elizabeth: It’s crazy how I was so sure by this time I’d have it all figured out financially. But it’s a lifelong journey and we occasionally have some stops at friend’s weddings
We all have those months. So don’t beat yourself up.
Now, I want to know what are your working on? If not this blog, then what?
You’re doing a great job…don’t let one month derail everything. We all have minor setbacks. You have come to a great realization though: you can only cut your expenses back by so much. After that, the only option is to increase income. I’m all for living a frugal life, but I think some put too much emphasis on cutting back here and saving $1 there. Instead, they should live happily within their means and then spend their time and energy finding ways to increase their income. In the long run, it will have a much bigger impact.
Be positive! Your month may have been less good than some others, but you’re still in there. Be proud of your accomplishments and the frugal way you attended your friends wedding. Money well spent. Just don’t do that in May!
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Don’t beat yourself up – this is not usually helpful in such situations. Your debt is going to go and you need to live – this is what life is for. However, you are right about income – it is important that this goes up and I wish you all the luck and good fortune with it.
Thanks for being honest and transparent with your debt. In a few years your debt will be a distant memory.
Good luck! I completely understand the issue with having to increasing your income level to make any further progress.
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