Monthly Archives: July 2013
We think we know ourselves. We think we can look in the mirror and say, “Yup, that’s me. I’m like this, a little bit like that, and sometimes I’m totally this.” But our perceptions of ourselves are often from the past; outdated and they don’t exactly fit right anymore. You have changed and you may not even realize it. But when you talk about yourself using your old perceptions, you are limiting yourself.
I used to be quite shy and quiet. I was a nerd (I still am, I know). It would kill me just to make eye contact and say hello to strangers, or introduce myself in a crowd when I felt all eyes were on me. I preferred to be the observer than to join in a conversation. But I’ve grown up. I say hello if I pass by you in the hallway or on the street. I introduce myself when I walk into a room. One of my favorite activities is just getting to know someone, sharing stories back and forth and spending hours talking. But if you asked me right now to describe myself, I would tell you, “Yeah, I’m really shy and reserved.” That is a barefaced lie my friends, I am not shy at all and I freaking love to share ideas and talk to people! But in my head I am still stuck on this idea that new people make me nervous, I’m shy and scared to speak up when I should.
Are you hanging on to old ideas about yourself? Here are a few examples of this phenomenon:
- You used to be overweight. You got serious about being healthy, started exercising and eating right and are now in the best shape of your life. But you still think of yourself as a “fat person”. You don’t trust yourself to stay in good shape, even though it has become an ingrained habit in your life. You like your new look, but you don’t embrace it as you. You’re not sure if the old, fat you or the new, fit you is the real you.
- You used to be in debt or wildly irresponsible with your money. Then you wised up. Paid off those credit cards, started saving more than you spent on junk and needless expenses. You’re getting better at investing and saving to buy a home. But you don’t believe in yourself. Going back into debt is only one night-in-Atlantic-City away, you scold yourself. And while that could be true, you don’t really plan on blowing a bunch of money at Tropicana and dabbling in illegal activity, so why are you forcing yourself to live in fear?
- You had a temper. Anger rules over all of us if we allow it. You may have grown up in a home where getting angry was the only way to get anything accomplished. Even though that may have been how you survived in your childhood, you also knew how to grow out of that and can let anger go as you grow up and move on. You don’t get angry anymore and that’s awesome. But it’s easy to still think of yourself as angry and temperamental if you spent years in that “mode”.
You’re not doing yourself any favors by thinking of yourself in the least favorable terms. I’m not saying you should sit around all day thinking about yourself or how you perceive yourself (even I know that’s kind of vain), but we are called on to talk about ourselves regularly, especially as we meet new people. Remember who you are and how you got here, but realize just how far you’ve come and what an incredible feat that is.
I know I wrote a lackluster post last week explaining that I wasn’t quite debt-free yet. Lame! But I have a great excuse: I am very superstitious. I didn’t want to jinx all the things that were about to be happening so I just kept my mouth shut. But everything has started so now I am excited to share all the good news, which is, in one extremely long run-on sentence:
A couple months ago a recruiter contacted me about a job I had applied to a year ago and the same position was available at the company but in a different department and she wanted to know if I was interested and of course I was so in a pretty rapid series of phone interviews, written questions and in-person interviews followed by an extremely long (almost 6 weeks) wait, I got a sweeeeeet job offer from the company and I took it which meant that I could move to South Orange County and which meant my fiance and I could also move back in together and we moved on Saturday and my dogs are sleeping next to me as I write this and I am happier than a pig in mud right about now.
I started my job on Monday and I am beyond excited. The company is in a very new market (that it is shaping) with huge potential and my job is my preferred mix of the technical and strategic business development. Even though I had just started a new job in December, this is a job that still works in the industries I have been in since moving to LA (construction and transportation) but is just way more exciting. There are deals to be made and I actually get to help make them.
It also means I no longer live or work in LA. What a place. I am always fascinated by place, and there is so much to see, do and discover in Los Angeles that I was never bored and I will always look fondly on my time there. I’ve been in the Irvine/Newport Beach area for like 3 days and I have culture shock: everything is so clean and nice, everyone looks scrubbed and polished to a t! I keep looking around for a corner liquor store or some streets covered in litter and graffiti and I can’t find it. I have so much to say about Los Angeles that it needs its own post. I’m happy to be in Orange County because it feels more livable but LA is way more alive, if that resonates with anyone.
Anyways, there are a bunch of little notes I have on this job, so quickly:
- My old job had fully paid health insurance for me and Ryan, sadly, at the new job I have to pay out of pocket (~$70/bi-weekly) and can’t add him to the plan until he makes an honest woman out of me :).
- Starting a new job again means absolutely no vacation until the honeymoon next summer :(. That’s going to be tough since I haven’t taken a vacation since last August when I went to Jersey.
- But I will try to get the Friday of FinCon off so I can head out there Thursday evening.
- Having a recruiter during the process was an awesome experience. I felt like I had someone who was really my champion throughout the process.
- I read this post from Ramit the night before my big day of interviews, which I found in a Google search of “how to prepare for a big interview” or something similar. Only one phrase jumped out at me: Overprepare like you cannot even imagine. That idea got stuck in my head and I really did overprepare for the interviews: I read two years’ worth of annual reports, as many Seeking Alpha articles as I could find, memorized the executive bios, and on the appearance side: I got a new suit, got my hair did, and took time to look professional. I spent over $300, but I knew I wanted the job and who knows? Maybe they would have judged my frizzy hair or suit from 2005 as “less than prepared”. Plus it’s a management position and looking the part is part of that. I didn’t want any factor that I could control to be the reason I didn’t get the job.
- The area we moved to is where I would like to buy a place so now I can really get to know the area and verify this as a fact and not just another half-baked scheme in my head.
And I am down to $1,752 in debt and I had used the funds last week for the move, so now you know why I had to wait a few more weeks to pay it all off. Worth it!