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Debt Pitfalls: Forgetting to Follow Through

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This is just a quick post to start the week off in the right direction: the biggest change I’ve had in my personality has been learning to follow through with things.  I actually had the idea of starting a blog over 3 years ago.  It was not a very clear idea (just a personal blog with guest posts by my friends) but I wonder if it would have grown if I had done it and stuck with it.  Then I had the idea for a shower foot-scrubbing device I coined the Scrub Shack, and it turns out it got invented at the same time I was thinking of it: Avivo Shower Sandal Footscrubber.  There have been others, but I’m not living in the past.  I’m just reflecting on how much better I have been since the beginning of 2011 on following through with things.  Here are a few things I finally got right in 2011:

Exercise: I got back into working out regularly and playing tennis regularly.  I feel better and it gives me energy to do other things, so I am not just coming home from work, falling on the couch and watching TV all night.

Writing/Blogging: This blog is already 4 months old and posting regularly keeps this blog active and reminds me that paying off all of my debts is one of the best things I can do to improve my situation. Plus, I have always wanted to be a writer and yet never exposed my written work to anyone but myself.  I’m getting a little better at writing and am putting together some ideas for a few good books, which is one of my top goals in life.  I’m planning a big revamp after 6 months of blogging, which is the point I will have proven to myself I can be committed to the American Debt Project: getting me out of debt, motivating others to get out of debt, stay out of debt, and understand what gets us so easily indebted in the first place.

Work: I started my job in February 2010, and with my inconsistency record, that is the longest I’ve EVER held a job.  And even though I should be making more, it all comes one step at a time.  First, be good at a decent-paying job, then move on and be great at a better-paying job thanks to the first job.

Spending: I’ve been desperately trying to pay off my debts since 2008.  And yet, I was still regularly visiting TJ Maxx, Nordstrom Rack, going out to eat a few times a week, and taking trips to Hawai’i I couldn’t afford.  I always felt like I HAD to do things.  Well, I’ve finally stopped going to the stores, eat out way less often, and don’t make promises to visit people or places when I can’t afford it.  I know it sucks to say no all the time, but I am seeing results and it’s worth it.  I sometimes get overwhelmed and think there’s no way I’m ever going to get out of this financial blackhole, but I would be even less likely to get out of it if I was shutting my eyes and hoping it will magically go away.  That’s like hoping the fried chicken smell is going to leave your house after you deep-fried a smorgasboard of meat, potatoes and cheese.  Do you have an industrial fan?  Because that smell doesn’t just fade.  It only seeps in deeper.

Business/Investing: I’m working on some things as side investments/income.  I’m still in the early stages, so it’s not worth analyzing yet, but I know that being consistent and spending some time on those ideas every day is going to pay off.

People: I’ve been getting better at staying in touch.  I hate when I call someone and they don’t call me back for a week.  And yet we all do it.  I’ve been getting better at being responsive, and seeing my family and friends who live nearby regularly.  I really miss the family and friends who don’t live in California, but I know I will be a better family member and friend if I can take care of myself and not complain about my situation, and when I finally do visit, it will be with an ease of mind I don’t think I’ve ever had.

I know, why all the back patting and self-congratulating? I told you I need a good start to MY week!  But seriously, this is just part of the “following through” and “paying my debt to society” themes I’ve been focused on.  Persistence does pay off.  Even if you’ve never been persistent, never followed a routine, never broken a bad habit, never kept a job longer than 6 months, a new focus and new dedication will pay off and help you change any of those things.  If I can do it, that means even the laziest, most self-satisfied and easily distracted type can get there.  As usual, I found the idea of persistence perfectly captured at Genius Types.  I think he got it right when he said, “The reason 20 percent of the people make all the money is because 80 percent of the people quit early.”

Learning Things From People You Think Are Stupid (Or How I Learned to Let Go of My Dislike of Lauren Conrad)

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Lauren Conrad on the Red Carpet at Vh1 Divas 2009.
She's not that dumb after all.

I used to despise Lauren Conrad.  Like, couldn’t stand her.  But I’ve since realized that I didn’t like LC of The Hills and Laguna Beach.  She may or may not be this person in real life, but her character on TV always seemed to be annoyed with everything, unimaginative and dull, dull, dull.  I’m definitely in the minority here because I know she has a lot of fans, but to me, carrying a Chanel bag and being obsessed with fashion does not make you “classy”.  LC refers to herself as classy but what she doesn’t realize is that the term “classy” is quite negative and you should never use it to refer to yourself.  Take this definition of classy from UrbanDictionary.com:

Ghettofied adjective from the late 70s & 80s that somehow became socially acceptable with predominately middle & upper class homogenized White Americans, especially during the last few years. The biggest mistake connected with the use of this term is that it should never be used to describe oneself. Those who use it to describe themselves never are.
Example: Excuse me, I am a classy lady! May I please have a paper bag & a straw!

So I usually never miss out on an occasion to bash LC, whether it was her collection of book-shaped objects, terrible first clothing line or misguided attempts to be “classy”.  But with my new path of regular posts on this blog and a dedication to discovering more in life instead of just hatin’, I’ve reconsidered LC.  Consider this: she’s been by far the most successful person to come out of the Laguna Beach/The Hills franchise.  She’s managed to make her career in the Hollywood/fashion/celebrity complex more relevant and current than when she was on air.  She’s churning out 1-2 books every year and they’re staying on the New York Times bestseller list (in the children’s section, but still).  And she’s doing it without being all that likeable, truly creative, smart or some great personality.  Why all the success?  I used to think she was just a typical rich OC kid who was being given everything even though she wasn’t the coolest or funniest one on the show.  But there are things Lauren did that her costars didn’t and now they all seem pathetic while LC is slowly but surely gaining the sort of respectability that Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen have garnered despite the fact that their original claim to fame is one of the lamest sitcoms in American history.  What has she done right?

1) Lauren Conrad works hard.  She’s done a lot of different things-from sponsorships to book deals and none of them have been failed music careers or desperate attempts to cash in on her fame.  In Hollywood, you don’t have to have 100% artistic integrity.  There are those who do and who achieve great success on their own terms (think Chloe Sevigny), but there are plenty of equally if not more successful stars who get what they want because they never stop working.  LC figured that out and got the right people on her team (managers, business managers, publicists, etc.) to figure out how she could be successful and she stayed the course.  She promotes herself on talk shows and book tours, appears happy in public (now that she’s not on The Hills), and has two popular websites, Laurenconrad.com and TheBeautyDepartment.com.

2) She hasn’t let the fame get to her.  Fame is a fate I wouldn’t wish on anyone, but LC managed to take the worst of it, like sex tape rumors and a publicly destroyed best-friendship, and still come out on top.  Have you seen Heidi and Spencer lately?  They made The Hills entertaining but they have nothing to show for it.  LC used her fame and celebrity to boost her brands, products and image and figured out how to reveal less of her personal life even while she was still on air.

3) LC hasn’t let failure keep her from trying again or trying new ventures.  The Lauren Conrad Collection in 2007 was unoriginal, overpriced and didn’t fare well in sales.  It folded quickly.  But because she kept her image positive, she launched a second line with Kohl’s in 2009 with better clothes and greater success and has a third line of aspirational contemporary wear, Paper Crown, that looks poised to do very well, thanks to much stronger marketing and design.  That’s impressive to me because I don’t find LC’s sense of style to be very original, but she has convinced a loyal legion of followers that her “classic, simple, pretty” tastes with a California twist are totally creative.  Leo Babauta said, “If you have been convinced a product changed your life, then it has. That’s how the magic works.” The same idea applies here–if LC can convince people that she has style, taste and originality, then she has it.

4) Lauren Conrad knows who she appeals to and she markets herself towards that group.  I know Lauren Conrad isn’t supposed to appeal to me.  I’m too old and have read way too many magazines and commentaries to not see her as just a pretty face with a good eye for putting things together.  LC’s target market is 15-23 year-old women.  They’ve watched her on TV but also see her as older and thus wiser, especially for getting out of the snakepit that was Heidi and Spencer’s world.  She’s kept herself relatable and is obsessed with appearing nice and polite, which this young group rewards.

We can always learn from people.  Perhaps we say it but when it comes down to it, we don’t really think we can learn from someone who seems at first glance to be vapid or successful just through luck and looks.  I think LC has become successful and found what she likes to do by having a great work ethic and more common sense than most “talent” in the entertainment industry.  When the urge is strong to dismiss someone because you don’t connect with them, they’re not like you, or you think you’re smarter than them: try taking one good lesson from them.  I bet it will at least be worthy of a blog post!

PS- If you’re interested in all things LC and her businesswoman prowess, check out her Celebpreneur blog at Forbes.

Pardon the Interruption, from BLACKONOMIC$

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Note: Thank you to Mr. Jim Clingman from Blackonomics.com for allowing me to repost his article here! It was well-written and addressed to the black community in America, and everyone can relate to the powerful distractions that clamor to devour our time and our minds.  Check out his website if you want more where that came from!

Considering the fact that Black people are so entrenched in the distractions of this world, I think it’s appropriate that I beg your pardon, Black America, in order to get a few important points across. Although for 16 years now I have sounded the economic alarm via this newspaper column, four books, and numerous speaking engagements, it is shameful that we have failed to act upon the messages of our ancestors and contemporaries. There is still a need to “capture” our attention when it comes to economic empowerment. Seems we have to be tricked, embarrassed, and beat-up before we start running for true freedom. So can you spare a few moments to read this missive, Black America? I beg your pardon for the interruption.

Pardon the interruption of your sports conversations, brothers and sisters, but you are in big trouble. The players, coaches, and team owners have their millions and are very secure; your team is not even in the game.

Pardon the interruption to your anger or euphoria, and your inconsequential rhetoric on Libya; Black folks in this country are unemployed in some areas as high as 50%. You are still being discriminated against when it comes to access to business, contracts, capital, and justice.

Pardon the interruption of your obsession with Will and Jada splitting up, Kanye and Jay Z’s new album, and Tiger’s golf game, multi-millionaires every one of them. You are trying to pay your rent, hold on to your homes, and feed your families.

Pardon the interruption to your wondering who will win the dancing and singing contests on television. You are doing the unemployment line-dance (“Now walk it out, y’all”) and singing “Stormy Monday” Blues in response to your current economic condition.

Pardon the interruption to your unceasing and loyal dedication to making everyone else in this country wealthy by buying their stuff and boycotting your own. Even with nearly $1 trillion in annual aggregate income, the wealth of Black people is 20 times less than that of whites.

Pardon the interruption to your fascination with other folks’ hair. Paying hundreds of dollars for someone else’s hair, as if God didn’t know what He was doing when He gave you yours, is only exceeded on the ridiculous scale by the dollars it takes for you to “get it done.”

Pardon the interruption to your penchant to have the best of everything, even at the highest prices. You are so silly to brag about how much you pay for things, while others brag about how little they pay for the same items. You love to go to bars and order whatever Champagne or Vodka some rapper might be drinking – even at hundreds of dollars per bottle. Only top-shelf for Black folks, despite the fact that you don’t make or distribute most of the products you purchase. Veblen’s “Conspicuous Consumption” concept ain’t got nothin’ on you.

Pardon the interruption to your shooting and robbing one another. It’s not enough for you to be under assault by outsiders, you feel compelled to take out your frustrations on yourselves rather than work together for your own benefit. Young people running rampant, wielding guns and having no trepidation at firing them at one another, at the police, or anyone they come across, speaks volumes about the overall condition of your families, your leadership, and your collective internal integrity.

Pardon the interruption of your meaningless conversations about Republicans and Democrats, Liberals and Conservatives, MSNBC and Fox News, and your preference of one talking-head over the other. They have their six and seven-figure salaries and can “talk” about your problems all day long. What do you have, and where will all the talk get you?

Pardon this interruption to your complacency, your apathy, your fear, your doubt, your perceived helplessness, hopelessness, and powerlessness. Pardon this interruption to your stream of consciousness, your psyche, and your apparent overwhelming desire to shut out reality. Pardon this interruption to your indifference and unresponsiveness to the life and death issues you face. Pardon this interruption to your proclivity toward the temporal, trivial, and the trifling things of this world. Pardon this interruption of your inclination to allow the silly and symbolic to take precedence over the serious and substantive. Pardon this interruption of your desire to continue majoring in the minors and getting caught-up in practices that matter little in the larger scheme of things.

Yes, pardon the interruption, Black America, but I just had to shake you once again; I just had to try to awaken you once again. I love you too much to let you stay in your comatose state, a state of inactivity and numbness. I care too much about our children’s future to sit back and not speak out about our condition and not get involved in initiatives to improve our situation. I respect our elders and ancestors too much to ignore their sacrifices for our economic freedom, some having died “on their way to freedom.” Are you on your way?

So, once again, for the umpteenth time, pardon my interruption of whatever you are hiding from or running from or afraid of. I hope you will forgive my intrusion into your fantasy world. But most of all, I hope you will move beyond the mundane and heed this call for appropriate action to economically empower yourself and our people.

-James Clingman, author of Blackonomics: The Way to Psychological and Economic Freedom for African Americans

How to Combat Laziness So You Can Reach Your Goals

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Is the opposite of lazy total insanity? Maybe I should stick to lazy.

What to Do When Laziness Threatens To Unravel Recent Accomplishments

Laziness affects a lot of people. It certainly affects me and often gets in the way of things I’m trying to accomplish. I have a crippling laziness habit routed in the patterns of my brain, the neural pathways and what not.  I am addicted to laziness.  According to the American Society of Addiction Medicine, addiction is characterized by:

  1. Inability to consistently Abstain; (I want to be lazy every day)
  2. Impairment in Behavioral control; (I try not to be lazy but the urge takes over)
  3. Craving; or increased “hunger” for drugs or rewarding experiences; (I put off doing things so I can lay on the couch and watch shows on Bravo)
  4. Diminished recognition of significant problems with one’s behaviors and interpersonal relationships;  (There isn’t anything wrong with what I’m doing since I’m not hurting anybody, right?)
  5. A dysfunctional Emotional response.  (I don’t want to think anymore! I just want everything to be easy!)

But it’s not just classic laziness.  There’s also a healthy dose of procrastination, wishy-washiness and general apathy.  I know how to work hard, but I just don’t want to.  Take this blog.  I’ve been doing pretty good on posting regularly and I am also doing my research on how to boost traffic and build followers.  But for the past week, I’ve felt simply paralyzed to take the next step.  I have three good posts in draft form that I can’t bring myself to finish.  And I’m getting great feedback from everyone who checks out my blog.  So how do I get out of my rut?

Step #1: Assessment

The first thing was realizing I have some weird bad habits.

Bad Habit #1: Balance the good with some bad, the smart with some stupid…

Somewhere in my subconscious, I have decided that things have to balance out, but this is not always positive, and I think it is standing in the way of me making substantial progress.  Let me give you some examples:

  • When I read a powerful, insightful book, I feel compelled to watch a few hours of reality TV to balance the weighty ideas that were in my mind.
  • I’ve always been an athlete and love sports and working out.  But just when I start getting into the zone, say, working out 4 days in a row, then I feel like I deserve a break and do nothing and eat greasy comfort foods fort the next 3 days.
  • I got into debt because I was taking lots of vacations and spending lots of money I didn’t have.  Since then, I’ve gone without a “real” vacation (anything longer than 3 days off) since January 2010 and I’m starting to get a little cabin fever.  I don’t want to undo the hard work but I need to learn how to relax in my daily life so I don’t feel compelled to fly somewhere far just to relax and have a good time.

I’ve never admitted that the weird patterns I fall into are actually holding me back.  I don’t have to watch reality TV to remind myself that there are people out there who are stupid, obnoxious and/or ridiculous.  I don’t have to “reward” my productivity for finishing a blog post with 3 hours of Melrose Place episodes on Netflix. (Don’t ask me why I’m watching a nighttime soap from almost 20 years ago.  Like I said, I can’t help myself.  I have addictions.).  Why does everything I talk about come back to TV?

Bad Habit #2: A body on the couch likes to stay on the couch… 

My other bad habit is inertia.  It means unless I have formally committed in my mind to doing something, then I am way too lazy to do it when the moment arrives and I haven’t pre-committed.  If I am at work, I have to decide I am working out before leaving work or I won’t do it.  I need to work up the energy to go grocery shopping at least 2 hours before I go.  I can’t just decide I need food and go.  Even waking up early requires a commitment.  When I go to bed, I absolutely have to remind myself what time I am waking up the next morning, or I will sleep in to 9 or 10 and never even hear the alarm.

I’ve gotten better about the first habit and don’t feel the need to balance as much, but I am still working on getting away from the inertia, which is a new habit and that takes time to develop.

Step #2: Stop drinking the Haterade

Look, I’m a hater. It’s what I’ve done as long as I can remember.  My best friend has described me as “anti-everything”.  I can’t help it. It’s easier to hate or find fault than to create something yourself. But as I am growing older and slightly wiser, it is becoming obvious that being a critic is a waste of time.  Why should I spend my energy analyzing something I don’t like and bringing more attention to things I don’t like?  Unless it’s funny, of course.  But I like Jean Sibelius’s quote: “Pay no attention to what critics say. No statue has ever been put up to a critic.”  I want to spend less of my time and energy on finding fault and pointing out what is wrong with something/someone.

I’ve spent way too long being comfortable with doing nothing by effectively criticizing and finding fault with what others were doing, famous and non-famous alike.   Who cares if I’m right?  Unless someone starts paying me to professionally hate on others, I see that being a critic is just a crutch. (Note to readers: Please contact me if you are looking for someone to help you hate/trash the competition.  I am efficient and effective!)

Step #3: Plans you can achieve, goals you can obtain

I know, that sounds so cheesy I’m going to have to warn Anthony Robbin’s people not to try to tweet that and pretend they made it up.  I want to make it big, but I am starting at a smaller level that is much more achievable. Here are a few goals for this blog:

First milestones for the American Debt Project:

1) 100 page views per day

2) 1,000 Twitter followers ASAP

So my plan to get to those two goals are:

1) Blog 5 days a week, and take 2 days to rest and get inspired.

2) Stay active on Twitter, discover new people, follow interesting people who follow me who aren’t obviously spambots/automated.

3) Read one good article per day on building a blog, developing an online presence, etc.  But don’t spend all day reading and do nothing.  Here’s a great slideshow on building a blog.

4) Organize my blog better and make popular posts easy to find.

Step #4: A little bit of action every day

It doesn’t have to be a lot, but I want to do something positive everyday.  Something that is moving me towards my goals of reducing my debt, finding a good investment, or developing my blog into a great resource on debt, trends in society, worthwhile movements, and more. When I get things done, I relax more.  I am not trying to become one of those wonder woman types who are dying inside like Annette Bening in American Beauty or Daria’s mom in Daria.  I just want to stop being so lazy and get the necessary things done so I can relax.

I hope this gave you some ideas on how to change lazy habits into good ones.  I wanted to be realistic because even though this blog has been great, I am still feeling stuck when it comes to my debt (more on that in the August update coming next week).  Here are a few more great reads on laziness and getting into action.  The last link is a video that you don’t want to relate to:

More laziness articles:

15 Ways to Stabilize So Your Dreams Can Materialize

Lazy Productivity 

How to Stop Procrastinating

 A Day Without Procrastination

http://www.afterschoolalliance.org/documents/media/psaYouthSockFriend.wmv

What did I miss?  Do you have some secrets about not being lazy that I need to know about?

Money Quiz: How Are You Handling Your Money?

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Everybody loves quizzes!  Except pop quizzes on A Tale of Two Cities in high school when I never cracked open the book.  You can learn a lot from a quiz, and this one is all about how you handle your money.  Pick your answers honestly and sum up your points using the Answer Key.

Take the Money Quiz! How Well Are You Handling YOUR Money?

1) When you find something you like that isn’t a necessity, you:

a)    You glance once or twice but decide you can live without it.

b)    You go home and think about it before you’ll consider going back to buy it.

c)     You carry it around the store for at least an hour so that you can get used to the idea of owning it.

d)    You hold it to your bosom and race to the counter, credit card in action mode.

 

2) Your car payment is approximately:

a)    Nothing

b)    10% of your income

c)     25% of your income

d)    More

 

3) You spend less than you make every month:

a) True

b) True, 80% of the time

c) What, so I’m not supposed to have any fun now?

 

4) When should you make your last will and testament?

a) It’s all good, I wrote one on some lined paper back in middle school about who would get to inherit my future riches.

b) Don’t need one, I’m in debt and my 401(k) only has $5K in it.

c) I’ll make it after I have kids.

d) I can’t make one because I don’t want the government to know what I have.

e) As soon as possible.

 

5) Which of the following people really should be using a credit card?

a) An unemployed college student who gets $100 spending money from his parents each month and that’s supposed to somehow pay for everything.

b) A working single mom who needs to pay for her car repair to get to work.

c) A CPA who travels a lot for his work and is very responsible about paying all bills in full each month.

d) Teresa Giudice from the Real Housewives of New Jersey so that she can maintain her extravagant lifestyle (in order to sell her cookbooks) and make up for being cross-eyed on camera.

 

6) Should you save money even when money is tight?  Like really tight, not sure if you’re going to be able to make rent tight?

a) Yes

b) No

 

7) On average, do people spend less when carrying a debit card or when carrying cash?

a) You’ll spend less with the debit card.

b) You’ll spend less with cash.

 

8 ) How do you invest in your 401(k) or other retirement accounts?

a) I don’t have any retirement accounts.

b) I just make automatic contributions and pick mutual funds using a dartboard.

c) I review my choices every quarter, and reinvest as long as they are no-load funds or I can choose individual securities.

 

9) When you’re ready to start reading some financial investment literature, who are you going to turn to? (Choose all that apply)

a) Suze Orman

b) George Soros

c) Dave Ramsey

d) Jim Cramer

e) Benjamin Graham

 

Answer Key: Add up your total points

1) a) 0 points b) 1 point c) 2 points d) 3 points

2) a) 0 points b) 1 point c) 2 points d) 3 points

3) a) 0 points b) 1 point c) 2 points

4) a) 2 points b) 2 points c) 2 points d) 1 point e) 0 points  (I like option d but actually everyone should make a will, and update it after major life changes.)

5) a) 1 point b) 1 point c) 0 points d) 2 points  (Look, the CPA has some spreadsheet where he calculates all his points and rewards and never pays a cent of interest, so he’s proven himself trustworthy enough to handle a credit card.)

6) a) 0 points b) 1 point  (It’s true.  You should save, even if it’s just $5/paycheck.  It’s a mental thing too.)

7) a) 1 point b) 0 points  (Read this article.)

8 ) a) 2 points b) 1 point c) 0 points

9) a) 5 points b) 0 points c) 1 point d) 2 points e) 0 points  (Sorry, but if Suze Orman is allowed anywhere near your finances, you can’t be financially competent.  And if you somehow are rich even with listening to her advice, just imagine how much richer you could have been without her!)

Guide

(0-3 Points)  Financially Competent: Wow! Are you sure you didn’t sneak a peek at the answers?  You have a good head on your shoulders when it comes to handling your money.  If you are saving 10% of your money and using 20% to pay back debts (if any) and living on the other 70%, you are on the path according to the Richest Man in Babylon!  Continue your sound practice and making conscious choices to live within your means.  Begin researching what kind of business or investment would make sense for you, and would be something you are interested in.

(4-8 Points) Mildly Clueless: Ok, don’t worry.  You just need a little awareness in your financial situation.  It’s not hopeless because there are a lot of easy things you can do to change your path financially.  Start with the basics by checking out Dave Ramsey and George S. Caslon.

(9 points +)   Hybrid of Gob Bluth and Brick Tamland: Hopefully you were just joking when you picked your answers.  Maybe you could retake it and see where you land?  If you end up in the same category, I am not sure you really meant to land on a site about debt reduction.  Or maybe you were thinking reduce debt to allow more room to re-create it?